Sad in the Season

Tears are words that need to be written.

Paulo Coelho

It was a difficult fall. My father had been hospitalized, my mother-in-law had major surgery, my husband had experienced a medical emergency, and my husband’s grandfather had passed away. We spent the fall going from hospital to hospital after full workdays and found, as we approached Christmas, sadness and weariness enveloped our souls. 

Yet during the Christmas season, it can be difficult to face loss or grief. Social media and public places are filled with bright lights, cheery music and decorations galore.

How do we face Christmas and all its festivities when our hearts feel burdened? Dealing with broken relationships, illness, death, change and other losses can leave us feeling exposed and bereft. We may find ourselves overwhelmed by the depth of our feelings, the inability to control our feelings, or even our lack of feelings.

The quote by Paulo Coelho is a great reminder that tears need to be expressed as we try to process our responses to life. Our creator expresses emotion and we, as people made in his image, are created to do so as well. Our feelings are a healthy and necessary outlet to help us express and deal with the joys and sorrows of life. However, I realize this isn’t always easy! 

It’s good to remember that grief has its own journey in each individual. Its pathway reminds me of ocean waves that may be great or small, depending on the weather, the tides, or many other variables. And yet many times we act as if we don’t think about our pain, our feelings will go away. In actuality, though, grief and pain that are unacknowledged tend to pile up like waves pounding the shore.

We need to allow time to honor what we are experiencing; to give ourselves space to reflect on what’s happened and how we feel about it. Our willingness to open up to grief allows our spirits to actually heal more quickly.

If you are feeling sad or burdened this Christmas season, I encourage you to give yourself time to reflect and process your feelings. Gaining a new perspective, and finding the “new normal” to go forward in your life, takes some time. Give yourself permission to spend some extra time with God and allow him to comfort you.

And if someone you love is going through a time of grief, your greatest gift may be to walk with them through it, listen to them in it, and honor them as they experience it.

Let me pray for you as you begin your day.

Dear Jesus, thank you for coming to earth to give us hope and peace. For those today who are facing sadness, weariness or grief, I pray your comfort. You felt loss while you walked on this earth and will be present with us in our moments of pain. Show us how to invite you into our experience as we remember your sacrifice for us. Thank you that Christmas reminds us of your love for us and your mercy to us. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

I invite you to review my sample "Loss List." This is a very useful tool that can help us process the necessary – and unnecessary – losses of life.